Changes

Why is it that you realize how much you love the place you are, mentally and physically, mostly only when you decide to leave, to move on? Is it quilt? That you know you have sometimes taken people and your possessions for granted. Is it fear? Because leaving your comfort zone is probably the hardest thing you'll ever have to do since you know when you return, you'll be a whole new person. Or is it just in a way saying goodbye? Goodbyes are already hard enough and realizing that you have to move on is saying goodbye to your old self, life and your birthplace under the sun. It can make you or break you. Although one things is sure..it will definitely change you.

The end of the last week

Last weekend we had a Grillfest in the downtown..and only thing I saw was fireworks two days in a row while taking photos on the beach:D Oh, yeah, Karo had a birthday on Friday so we had a Pärnu-Soest-Värska skypedate, that was fun:) And on that day I had to go to the city just to see Pärnu was full of people..you do not see that every day..and since we were there we went to the best cafe in town..Supelsaksad! They make THE BEST cakes! And we thought we deserve a piece after biking 20 km :D After we started biking back, my friend heard music so she stopped for a second but since my breaks are shitty AFTER I got my bike back from the repairman, we almost had an accident in the middle of the road, literally everyone else heard me screaming "get out of my way" except the person who was on my way, but we all survived, the cake also..expect all the hazelnuts changed their places :D Oh, and we saw some cows on the beach..yeah, I don't know, I only had my phone with me so enjoy some low-quality photos:D

On Saturday I finally managed to do something with my wall :D I'll add photos so would see:) I had a lot of fun making a new palm tree for my wall since the last one was 3 years old already? I wanted to use it also but as it came out my wall isn't big enough for two palm trees and for a bunch of photos:D

I'll just use it somewhere else ;) And I felt like a child again when my mom brought me candy :P

 And for that day I had and idea how to use sunset for my photo ;) When it was finally getting dark I decided to bike on the beach and just take another road home..when I got to the point where I had to turn right I saw a bunch of people, with their car, partying. It seemed like they were leaving so I decided to go a little further and wait on a bench for them to leave..since usually the people partying in that area are total asswagons and I really had no intention on getting killed that evening :D I was looking through my photos when I saw someone coming my way, of course the first thought was "oh god why" but as it came out it was a really decent guy who just came to ask if their music was too loud and if they're even allowed to be on the beach with their car, so that was really nice of him and I just told him to have fun and they shouldn't worry and after that I knew I could go home safely :D

On Sunday I made a cherry cake! It was level up for me :D You can find the receipe here :) Of course mine looked totally different but hey..It was delicious anyway! :D

After that I went to the beach with my mom, we saw those cows again :D and since the water was fairly warm I went swimming for the first time this year! It's an improvement because last year I remember going for a swim at the end of July..on 27th, to be exact:D

Of course I had to take my Shakespeare with me, I was reading Midsummer Night's Dream, only this time in Estonian and I love that book! Seriously! Whatever the language is :D

It got cold pretty fast because we went after 5 and later we just sat outside and played with Mia :) I had a fun day:)

 

And of course I captured a beautiful sunset again:)

Ellujäämisõpetus

Sellest on paar päeva möödas, kui ma suutsin enda jala ära põrutada nii, et parema jala suure varba läheduses kõik valutab. Kuna mina olen pigem enda ravitseja, selle asemel, et arstide vahet joosta ja erinevaid tablette alla neelata(kui muidugi olukord seda tõesti ei nõua) siis otsisin raamatutest ja internetist veidi infot. Kuna massaaži tehes ja selle ajal õpetusi kuulates olen meelde jätnud, et kõik jõuab taldadesse välja, otsustasin ka selle järgi veidi infot koguda. Leidsin selle pildi, see võiks teilgi läheduses olla, kui mingi probleem peaks tekkima, sest meie keha ju meile ei valeta:)

Üleüldiselt valu on valu. See on millestki tingitud. Luule Viilma Ellujäämisõpetusest leidsin sellise targa lõigu:

Inimene hingab keskmiselt 15 korda minutis. Iga hingetõmbega siseneb meie teadvusesse üks mõte. Pooled mõtetest on negatiivsed.

 

Mida see tähendab? See tähendab järgmist.

 

Iga hingetõmbega saadab meie oma vaim meile teadvustamiseks ühe mõtte. Rõhutan -- minu vaim annab mulle teada, mis on tulemas.

 

Kui ma kuulan oma vaimu ja tean, et hea on teadmiseks ning halb on vabastamiseks, siis ma annan kohe andeks halvale mõttele, mis halba sündmust minusse tõmbab.

 

Palun andeks oma halvalt mõttelt, et ma ta nii suureks olen kasvatanud, sest ei ole mõistnud, et ta tuli mind õpetama ja et ta juba seepärast haiget peab tegema.

 

Palun andeks oma vaimult, et ma teda enne ei ole osanud kuulata ja tänan teda kõigest südamest abi eest. Vabanemise tunne minu vaimu järjekordne abi minule, et ma teaksin, et olen selle asja korda teinud.

Palun andeks oma kehalt, et ma talle oma oskamatusega mõelda nii palju haiget olen teinud.

 

Kui tuli kahtlus, siis ütles vaim, et kahtlus on hirm uskuda iseennast ja see stress ootab samuti vabanemist.

Iga mõte, mis tuleb, on minu vaimu poolt saadetud, et õpetada minu mõistust.

Iga negatiivne mõte tuleb mind õpetama risti vastupidise saamist. Kui ma ta teadvustan ja vabastan, siis samasugust kannatust mulle ei tule. Ma olen ilma kannatuseta, aruka inimese kombel, targemaks saanud.

Iga mõte on mõtlemist ja järelduse tegemist väärt.

Iga mõte on korduvat mõtlemist ja korduvat järelduse tegemist väärt.

Kõik see tarkus on ka internetis olemas: http://www.luuleviilma.ee/index.php

Playlist

I've found some new great music while some songs from my childhood have found me again ;) I thought I'd share my playlist with you, maybe you'll find something nostalgic or completely new :)

The last two are the ones I have been listening to while taking photos of the sunsets the past week:) I hope you'll find something good from this list ;)

I love

I love the soft air

between my toes,

between my fingers

right before it starts to rain.

I love the thrilling sound

before the thunder

that could cut trees

if nature intended.

I love the spoken words

in the middle of the night

when your voice is tired

and truth slips over your lips.

 

I love the sea, the ocean, and even puddles

when water is so cold it gets warm,

when wind is quietly stroking the waves,

and seagulls watch their own reflection.

 

I love, I love, I love to love.

Shakespeare, Rum and Pirates

I've fallen behind about 3 days now with my blog. But I'll make this post about yesterday. This posts title should either tell everything you need to know or make you imagine a little "WTF" cloud above your head..I'll choose the seconds one:D Anyway it's a bit hazy how my day started but Piret called me after lunch and invited me over. So I took this trip quite seriously and decided to be a nice hood-patrol and went with my bike. Then it's a bit hazy again(you know, It was yesterday..such a long time ago) and at some point I suggested we should go to the library(if you want to be my friend then looking for me in a library is a pretty neat idea)because I had/have my Shakespeare needs:D So I got 3 books: Midsummer Night's Dream and Othello in English and both of these in Estonian( Estonian one has 3 books in one, so add Hamlet also) and the cool part is yesterday was the first time ever when I found books by myself! I'm so proud of myself:D After that we felt quite hungry so Port Artur 2 became suddenly our Meka. I bought a delicious cherry yoghurt and a little dessert from our childhood :) 

After a while we decided to go to the beach to enjoy sunset, read books and just relax. Well..1 of those things happened :D Piret called Rasmus and surprise-surprise, he was on the beach also with his friends! But before we packed our 2 things..literally, I had a sip of our rum with coke..yeah..lets just say it wasn't my proudest moment:D I practically drank it all by myself  later and I wasn't feeling sick or anything..I just felt like bathroom became my best friend and I needed to see my best friend as quickly as possible:D:D Before that though I had a long and probably a deep conversation with Rasmus about relationships and such..and when they decided to go and found out something was wrong with their car, they left a guy, if I remember correctly his name was Rando, with us. Such a calm and nice guy, as much as I remember of course:D:D:D

And I just had to try to read my Shakespeare while being drunk..it worked out fine I'll tell you :D I just found myself constantly reading out loud..because it's such a smart book and everyone had to hear about that:D Yes, I'm fun when I'm a bit tipsy..:D

After getting back to Piret's place we realized we were hungry as lions:D We could have eaten a horse:D But we decided to get a tortilla instead :D And fries..and chinese food:D oh god :D Anyway I remember eating tortilla this morning..:D But..we just had to watch a movie while eating, right? And which movie would be the best after all the rum was gone? You're damn right we had to get Jack Sparrow into our company :D It was 3-freaking-am when this movie ended, my eyes were probably red but I couldn't stop watching:D But it was worth it! :D 

So today we managed to get our asses to my place..only to die in the middle of the biking:D At least we got our peppermint ice-cream:D And..well..yeah. That's it, kids, see you next time:D

My Sunny Sunday

After being awake until 6 a.m. the day before I got really tired yesterday..when others were still partying, I went to the beach to witness another amazing sunset and later biking with mom, I loved it :)

Although I went to bed quite early, well..1a.m. is still early for me as I'm a night person:D I still got out of bed at 11 this morning..for some reason I started searching my golden spray paint? and went outside just to find everyone were sitting in the garden and joined them:) There were 3 people at first so it was fun..also my breakfast was a glass of Gin:D This is summer for ya :D So we sat there for about 5 and a half hours, I learned some new stupid sentences as well, so mission accomplished:D

Palm tree in progress :)

Later I started and finished some little projects that have been taking a lot of room in my head. I started making another palm tree and finished a..well I don't really know how to call it..a wall..something photo:D I also got a lot of new photos, lets say I made a new friend in the form of my neighbours flower bed:D Oh, and my dinner was mad at me! :D

 

 

 

 

I found a pretty quote on Tumblr and had to write it down on my wrist not to forget it :)

Choices

We are all bound to make choices. Like at the moment there's a party outside where all our neighbours have gathered..and I'm here. Sitting in my kitchen making this blog post. I feel such peace inside that being surrounded by people who are sarcastic, mean or just trying to be funny while being so broken inside, make me feel a bit uncomfortable. So I came back inside and started reading a book, since I felt I needed to. And each and every time I read, I learn something new. About me, about my life, about everyone else. And the more you learn about life, the more you feel good in your own company..don't get me wrong, I like being surrounded by people who I love and who love me..but this is the case, those people outside are just people who I live next door to, nothing else. No love, no life together. My mom also went away for a few hours so after her leaving I felt alone in this company, I should go back though, right? But not just yet.

What also is funny..if you're really close to someone spiritually they can feel when you're not being quite yourself. And this just happened: she called me (Lets call her my mentor since she has helped me through..well, everything. She has been there for my whole life, she watched me growing up) and asked me how I was feeling. And I told her about everything and she just told me to go outside, get a drink and watch those people. Just watch them really closely. And learn. Thank you, you're right!